The Scary Monkey Show Website

Transcripts

Pilot- An alternate first meeting between Zim and Dib, Dib starts a food fight against Zim to show that he is an alien due to Zim's allergic reaction to food.

The Nightmare Begins- Zim's mission begins with a rocky start.

Bestest Friend- In an attempt to make himself look more like a normal human worm-baby, Zim selects a reject named Keef to be his friend. But when Zim informs Keef that the friendship is over, Keef doesn't understand and won't leave Zim alone.

NanoZim- Dib sneaks into Zim's house and gets a snapshot of Zim, so Zim shrinks himself to get into Dib's body and erase his mind. Dib also acquires a nano-ship from his father and attempts to stop Zim before he looses complete brain function.

Parent Teacher Night- Zim must prepare his Parent Decoys for Parent Teacher Night at the Skool. GIR manages to get the wrong feed sent to the Decoys, making them go wild at Parent Teacher Night. (first episode with scary monkey)

Walk Of Doom- Zim tests out GIR's new directional chip by taking him into the city and getting lost, but things go terribly wrong when GIR leaves the chip at home.

Germs- Zim learns of Germs from a television movie. He purchases micro-goggles to see the germs and then becomes obsessed with destroying them all.

Dark Harvest- Zim is sent to the nurse for having 'head pigeons.' Dib tells him the nurse will know he doesn't have human organs, so Zim goes on a rampage, replacing other's organs with... stuff.

Attack Of the Saucer Morons- Zim crashes the voot runner in the park (because of a bee) and returns the next morning with a tow vehicle disguised as a giant floating pig. However, 'the children of the bright and shinning saucer' have found the voot runner first, and when Zim attempts to get close to the ship, his disguise falls off.

The Wettening- Dib discovers that Zim's skin reacts to water and uses this to his advantage. After a few skirmishes, the two decide to have a final water-balloon showdown after the weekend.

Career Day- A blotch test tells the students what their occupation will be. Dib is the only one who gets the job he wanted. He is partnered with Bill, a paranormal investigator who believes in the stupidest theories. Dib finds out about a Galactic Equinox theory in which aliens off their planet go through a molt during the equinox and tries to show Bill that Zim is going through the molt.

Battle-Dib- Dib tries to get his father's signature on a permission slip so he can give a presentation on Zim, but his father, Prof. Membrane is shooting his show and the studio guards won't let him come close. He tries to get into the audience through a series of tests.

Planet Jackers- The Earth is hijacked by planet jackers Oog-Ah and Nik who intend to dump it into the dying sun of their home world for firewood, so Zim must save it so he can destroy it himself.

Rise of the Zitboy- Zim develops a pizza grease induced zit which only gets bigger after the use of acne blast zit cream. Zim discovers it has hypnotic powers after GIR draws a face on it and disguises it as a friend attached to his face so he can take it to skool and hypnotize the students, especially Dib.

Invasion of the Idiot Dog Brain- GIR's brain takes control of the house in a freak accident. GIR gets hungry for tacos and turns the house into a robot so he'll be able to go to the Krazy Taco fast food restaurant, but he doesn't go unnoticed.

Bad, Bad, Rubber Piggy- With an object displacement device, Zim replaces objects in Dib's past with rubber piggies, hoping to destroy him once and for all.

A Room With a Moose- Zim arranges a mandatory field trip for all the students in Ms. Bitters' class except himself. The students are put onto a bus which is actually a space ship and are launched into a worm hole. On the other side of the worm hole is a room... with a MOOSE! It's up to Dib to stop the bus from reaching the room of horror.

Hamstergeddon- The class gets a hamster named Peepi as a class pet. Zim sees how Peepi's cuteness effects the students and decides to use this to his advantage. He attaches a device to Peepi that causes him to grow into Ultra-Peepi! Ultra-Peepi wrecks the city, but things get out of hand and Zim decides something must be done.

Plague of Babies- An alien species stranded on Earth that look just like human babies threaten to reveal Zim if he doesn't hand over his Voot Cruiser so they can finally leave.

Bloaty's Pizza Hog- Prof. Membrane gives his kids a chance to go out for dinner, but Dib runs off to infiltrate Zim's lab. Gaz must rescue him if she want to go to Bloaty's Pizza Hog for dinner.

Door to Door- Zim becomes obsessed with obtaining a mystery prize from a Poop Cola Candy fundraiser. Zim will try anything to sell his candy so that he may obtain the mystery of the prize. [FINAL EDITED VERSION]

FBI Warning of Doom- Zim is worried by the FBI warning at the beginning of an over due movie GIR rented. He thinks the FBI will be after him if he doesn't return it that night due to an angry call from the Video Outhouse. Zim sets off to the closed mall to return the movie but finds himself trying to evade the clutches of security guard Slab Rankle.

Bolognius Maximus- Zim uses a tack to send Bologna DNA into Dib. Dib starts turning into a Bologna Boy. Dib gets back at Zim with the same tack so they both must rush to find a cure before they are nothing more than meat.

Game Slave 2- The Game Slave 2 is out and Gaz wants one. Prof. membrane won't let her go to the mall without Dib, so she must wait through Mysterious Mysteries. By the time they get to the mall, a long line has formed. By the time she gets to the front, there is only one left and it is reserved. A boy in line behind her claims to be the one who reserved it, but Gaz knows otherwise. Gaz will stop at nothing to get that Game Slave 2 from Iggins.

Battle of the Planets- Zim investigates Mars and discovers that there are structures there, so he travels to Mars hoping to find out what happened to the species that made them. He discovers that they worked themselves into extinction turning Mars into a giant spaceship. He decides to roll Mars over Earth and crush everything. Meanwhile, Dib discovers Mercury was also converted into a ship and the Tallest prepare to turn planet Blorch into a parking structure planet.

Halloween Spectacular of Spooky Doom- Dib uses Prof. Membrane's equipment to peer into alternate dimensions. He sees the other reality even without the scope and jumps back and forth through reality and his nightmare world. The creatures in the nightmare world want out and the only way is through Dib's head.

Mysterious Mysteries- In desperation, the anchor from Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery uses a tape of Zim made by Dib. On the show, Dib, Zim, Gaz, and GIR (using the alias 'Stacy') give there point of view of what happened.

Future Dib- Prof. Membrane creates a perpetual energy generator (PEG) which has the possibility to send out a wave of death. Zim takes note of this and sets up a scheme to tamper with PEG, starting with a robotic 'future Dib.

Hobo 13- Zim requests heavy artillery and tanks from the Tallest. They agree to give them to him if he passes evaluation on military training planet Hobo 13, expecting him to die there. Zim takes control of his squad and puts his team mates in danger in order for himself to go on. Meanwhile, the Tallest worry about loosing a lot of monies from a high bet they forced Service Drone Bob to make a bet on Zim finishing.

Walk for your Lives- Trying to impress the Tallest for Probing Day, Zim shows them Dib, trapped in Zim's very own time stasis field. An explosion occurs due to an overload, but the blast of the explosion expands extremely slowly (a side effect of the time stasis field). Zim tries to get rid of the explosion while Dib, who is also moving slowly, tries to get help.

MegaDoomer- When Zim accidentally gets a stealth mech meant for another invader, Zim goes on a rampage, not realizing the stealth systems only make the machine invisible and not the pilot.

Lice- After an outbreak of lice, Countess Von Verminstrasser (also known as the delouser) comes to the skool and quarantines it, forcing all the students to stay in the skool until the problem is solved. Dib suspects something is up and takes Melvin out to investigate.

Abducted- Zim finds out there are species dumber than humans when he is abducted by a pair of aliens (who shall be dubbed Blue and Green due to their eyes for the purpose of this transcript). Fans of Jhonen's comics will recognize them as the aliens who appeared in Meanwhile, High above the Earth... and issues 1 and 4 of Squee!

The Sad, Sad, Tale of Chickenfoot- Dib makes it his duty to disprove the existence of Chickenfoot, a man in a Chicky Licky suit who is mistaken for a chicken creature, so that Dib may restore respect to the paranormal field of science.

GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff- Zim locks GIR into duty-mode to stop his silly behavior. Once in duty-mode, GIR decides that Zim is preventing progress on the mission and decides he must be terminated. Thanks to Jess for making most of this transcript.

Dib's Wonderful Life of Doom- Dib tosses a muffin at Zim's head. That night, Meekrob aliens visit him and give him spooky powers, and his life takes a sudden turn for the better.

Tak: The Hideous New Girl- A new girl named Tak arrives at Skool on Valentine's Day. Zim suspects that Tak likes him and decides to use her to study human affection. However, Zim couldn't be more wrong.

Backseat Drivers from Beyond the Stars- Zim takes control of the Massive in order to bring it to Earth so the Tallest can witness his newest scheme. Dib uses a spy bug to find all of this out and takes action. Meanwhile, the Massive meets up with an resistance alliance.

Mortos der Soul Stealer- Dib arrives at the graveyard during the awakening of Mortos Der Soulstealer in order to get him to drain Zim's life force. Mortos must recharge by eating junk food after being in the 'place beneath the Overworld' for a thousand years. Meanwhile, Zim infects the city with mutant vermin.

Zim Eats Waffles- Dib spies on Zim using a camera planted with the help of GIR. Dib eagerly awaits as Zim prepares to tell his next plan, but GIR distracts him with waffles.

The Girl Who Cried Gnome- A Girly Ranger named Moofy gets her foot trapped in a gopher hole in Zim's front yard. When the media and a huge crowd comes to support the girl, Zim realizes he must do something. He begins to use the situation to his advantage with the arrival of Presidentman.

Dibship Rising- While repairing Tak's ship, Dib replaces Tak's consciousness with his own. He accidentally puts too much of his own mind into the ship and the new Dibship starts to think that it is the real Dib.

Vindicated!- Coach Walrus sends Dib to see the councilor Dwicky, who tells Dib that he believes in aliens and agrees to help Dib out. They send an encoded message to Zim to lure him into the forest where they wait with a camera to capture footage of Zim.

The Voting of the Doomed- When the student president suffers a breakdown in skool spirit, Zim and Willy are chosen to campaign for the position. Willy turns out to be completely moronic, so Dib takes on the role of Willy's campaign manager to ensure that Zim looses.

Gaz, Taster of Pork- Dib finds that one of his spelldrives has enough power to cast a spell called Sense of the Shadowhog twice. He tests it out on Gaz and discovers that it makes everything taste like pork. Gaz allows Dib to have time to try and reverse the spell before she does something horrible to him.

The Frycook What Came from all that Space- Zim is abducted by the frycook Sizz-Lorr and taken back to his exile on Foodcourtia. Zim becomes a worker at Shloogorgh's, unable to escape due to a security system that would make him explode if he left.

The Most Horrible X-Mas Ever- Zim finds out about Santa Claus and decides to impersonate him with a high-tech suit. He convinces the people of the world to teleport themselves into space, but Zim doesn't have all of the bugs worked out on his Santa suit.

[UNEDITED VERSION]